Feeling good

Seeking pleasurable emotions and sensations, from the headonistic model of happiness put forth by Epicurus

Engaging fully

Pursuing goals and activities that engage you fully, from the influential research on flow experiences by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Doing good

Searching for meaning outside yourself, tracing back to Aristotle’s notion of the eudemonia

Living in the present

Harvard psychologists David Gilbert and Matthew Killingsworth set up an experiment designed to record how frequently people’s minds wander, what they wander to and how it affects their moods. They designed a smartphone application that contacted 2,250 adult volunteers at random intervals to ask how they were feeling, what they were doing and whether they were thinking about what they were doing or thinking about something else.

The researchers found that people spend about 50% of the time thinking about what is not going on around them. This ‘mind wandering’ often takes the form of thinking about events that happened in the past, may happen in the future or will never happen at all. And it doesn’t make us happy. Rather, people in the study were happiest when their minds were focused on the activity of the moment. This research reinforces the advice of various religions, philosophies and therapies that have suggested since ancient times, that happiness and fulfillment maybe found more easily by living in the moment, being ‘here and now.

Gratitude

Gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish positive experiences, enjoy better health, deal with adversity and build strong relationships.

Gratitude is a way to step off the hedonic treadmill, appreciating what you have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make you happier or thinking you can’t feel satisfied until your every physical and material need is met. Gratitude helps you refocus on what you have instead of what you like. As an old saying goes, if a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he is unlikely to be thankful for what you get.

Grateful people are more likely to seek less and appreciate and care for what they have. Implications of this way of thinking are far-reaching, to the benefit of other people and the entire planet.

Positive Relationships and well-being

The knowledge that there are other people who care about us is an intrinsic need and significant pathway to flourishing. Meaningful and positive relationships impact both aspects of well-being in that they can reduce the impact of negative experiences, build resilience and help to create positive and meaningful life experiences.

Did you know that…

“Self discipline out predicts IQ for academic success by a factor of 2.” – Martin Seligman.

Here’s how Seligman puts it: “If we want to maximise the achievement of children, we need to promote self-discipline. Social psychologist, Roy Baumeister, believes it is the queen of all the virtues, the strength that enables the rest of the strengths. There is, however, an extreme trait of self-discipline: GRIT. Indeed, Angela (Lee Duckworth) went on to explore grittiness, the combination of very high persistence and high passion for an objective (long term goal).”

Grit is the key. In fact, talent is unrelated or inversely related to grit. Many talented people don’t follow through on their goals. Grit has nothing to do with socio-economic factors.

Growth Mindset is the best way to develop grit. When students understand that the brain is like a muscle; it changes / grows when it’s worked / challenged, they are far less likely to give up & persist even when they fail. That failure is not a permanent condition. More effort, the better your results.